ALBUTEREX: NOT EVEN ONCE
PART 1
“It’s called Albuterex”. Arkskier confirmed.
The trio of Zyzz wannabe’s sauntered down the street, entertaining each other with stories of Facebook trolling and the tendencies of young women to be overly coïtusually active. These however, were no ordinary lifters.
Squeak419, the first member of the trio stands 5'9 153 lbs of shredded muscle, with a BF percentage of under 10%. Squeak419 to this day has an unhealthy obsession with uploading pornographic material to various websites featuring a proboscis monkey dressed in a variety of different outfits. These uploads resulted in a police raid when one of his many beastiality videos showed up on the front page of Susan G. Komen's Cancer foundation website. The raid confiscated 215lbs of fap tissues and over 5 galleons of baby oil, charges are still pending.
Ultraviolence, the second member of this misc trio is an outgoing, headstrong indiviudal. Standing at 5'8 170lbs with a BF percentage of under 15%, he enjoys trolling, mocking femenism, and long walks on the nudist beach. Ultraviolence's unhealthy tendencies to take trolling too far once caused a national incident when an overweight femenist from Germany posted the comment "Cum at me bro", resulting in a booked plane flight to Germany and a home invasion, ending with the woman being drenched in semen.
Arkskier, the manlet of the group, stands at 5'3, 145 lbs, BF % not available. Arkskier is a natural born leader, stemming from an extremely tough exterior brought on by the teasing he would endure in highschool for being a manlet. Arksier smashes women on the regular and once accidentally brushed arms with fitness icon Zyzz at a festival, although he was too socially awkward at the time to say anything, it is a point in his life he will always remember.
“Albuterex?” Squeak419 chimed in.
“Yeah that stuff that Chestbrah has always been promoting”.
“Sounds like Chestbrah’s found a new name for his D-bol” Chuckled Ultraviolence, whipping out his phone to check the Misc. for any relevant threads on the topic.
Ultraviolence scrolled through the endless “HNGGG/10” and “MISC MY PENOR IS IN HER, WUT DO?” Threads, searching for a thread that might yield some comic relief for the long journey to acquire this new supplement they had heard so much about.
“lol brah’s, check this out, now THAT is some epic trolling”, Ultraviolence laughed as he showed his fellow miscers the thread.
Unfortunately for the miscers, the phaggot OP did not know how to correctly embed pics, leaving them with disappointment and a temptation to speed dial NASA to make use of their Hubble telescope.
“So anyways, where are we meeting Chestbrah?” Squeak419 asked.
“Well he said he’d be on the corner of king’s cross, in the parking lot, he’s supposed to give us the goods there.” Arkskier reassured his friend.
The air was abuzz with the excitement of the three miscers; they had heard this supplement being preached religiously by Chestbrah’s Facebook page.
Soon enough, the miscers reached the parking lot and entered. The trio spotted a shadowy figure crouched in the corner of the lot behind a pillar as the three made towards the figure, wary of the fact that it seemed to be huddled over a small cardboard box while seemingly foaming at the mouth and muttering “MY PRECIOUS…SSH- SH- SHREDDED…T-T-TY MEN”.
The miscers called out “Chestbrah! That you? Aw man does anyone else feel that? Did it just get a whole lot more awkward in here..?”
Sure enough the shredded figure turned its attention to the three miscers and replied.
“HUH!? Oh…oh yeah hey guys yea it’s me. Umm, so have you got the money?” Chestbrah said, regaining his apparent composure.
“Yeah, we have the money, do you have the stuff?”
“It’s right here”.
Chestbrah stepped back to reveal three tubs of fat burner pre-workout, the label read:
The three shifted their footing with excitement.
“so this stuff…it’s gonna make us shredded?” Squeak419 inquired.
“Yup, its really good, I don’t promote it on my Facebook page unless I know it works. Ah you know guys, looking at you, seeing the hope in your eyes reminds me of someone…”
Chestbrah turned away, wiping a tear from his eye while the Miscers all struck the Adonis pose, honouring the king of aesthetics.
“anyways I’ve gotta run guys, bitches to phuck, men to thank and all that.” Chestbrah said, scooping the combined $60 from the miscers wallet and sprinting off to his car and gunning it out into the night.
“brah’s this is it, this is gonna make us the next Zyzz, come on lets take it together before we hit the gym”. The miscers agreed, taking a scoop each.
“I feel weird as phuck.” Said Ultraviolence
“Albuterex of peace” said Squeak419
“I can confirm, I was stomach cramps” said Arkskier.
Within seconds, the three miscers began to fall to the ground, writhing in pain and screaming in agony, their lives being permanently changed for ever by the substance they had just took. Seonds later, the writhing stopped, and the miscers ceased moving…
“S-Sh-Shredded…S-Sh-Shr-Shredded…Fauuurk” echoed around the paring establishment.
The miscers rose, one by one to their feet, but they were not the same. With hands outstretched the miscers limped towards the exit, foaming at the mouth and hungering for flesh. As the miscers trudged out into the world with a thirst for blood, Ultraviolent’s phone vibrated, having been left on the cold hard ground and abandoned, it flashed with a notification. Chestbrah had just posted a comment on his Facebook page, the comment read:
“Brahs, tomorrow Albuterex is in stores EVERYWHERE, together we will change the world.”
TO BE CONTINUED…
(ben niet zo technisch 
)
Neu ik wou een keer lekker vroeg en uitslapen kan ik toch niet. Was wel lekker om in het donker binnen te komen en weg te gaan toen het licht was. 
idd
