maar wat heb je er allemaal over gelezen dan trouwens?
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-induced-erectile-dysfunction/show/469209
Dit stukje was ook wel interessant:
SEXUAL GUILT
Sexual guilt is at the core of a wide plethora of common issues men have, ranging
from shyness or approach anxiety, to divorce, and to STD's. Guilt automatically seeks
to be punished. Since most men are actually carrying a lot of unconscious coïtusual
guilt within themselves, they are unconsciously seeking various forms of punishment,
such as attracting "bitchy" or "cheating" partners, socially engineering rejection during
the pickup phase, and much more.
Sexual Guilt stems from the belief that coïtusuality is merely a physical act. From the
viewpoint of the ego itself, coïtus really does seem to be a purely physical act, so the
ego cannot be blamed for its inability to comprehend Spiritual Reality.
The ego is also addicted to negativity for its own sake. Specifically, it is addicted to
the so-called "Seven Deadly Sins," such as pride, hatred, sloth, and so on. The only
way an ego can survive within yourself is by clinging to negativity itself. If all you do
is let go of negativity, the ego would come apart and dissolve, and the mind would
eventually become silent, i.e., the condition of Enlightenment. Thus, in a frantic effort
to avoid being dissolved by the silent field of consciousness (Divinity), the ego has a
vested interest in clinging to emotions such as guilt, shame, and hatred. Frequently,
people will actually choose to die rather than let go of, for example, a simple resentment.
Spiritual evolution is the product of letting go of negativity and choosing positivity. You
don't have to program positivity within yourself, all you need to do is let go of negativity.
Positivity (Love) then takes over from there, replacing negativity (non-love). The sun
shines forth when the clouds are removed.
One of the most profound sources of negativity within most humans is Sexual Guilt.
Perhaps the main reason so very few people ever learn how to let go of coïtusual guilt
is because looking at it directly in the face, so to speak, can be very painful. (It can
be downright excruciating.) The ego is not exactly a composition of our best qualities.
Before opening the "pandora's box" called Sexual Guilt, it's necessary to know that
the ego is not who you are in reality. If the ego was who you were, if your thoughts
were your true self, then obviously you would not be able to Witness or listen/see to
the activities going on within the mind. Something other than the ego has to be the
spectator. I call this aspect of consciousness the Silent Witness.
The ego is addicted to negativity, and it subtly infuses negative energy in most aspects
of daily life including coïtusuality. Specifically, it infuses the "Seven Deadly Sins" into
coïtusuality itself, and that is what leads to the accumulation of coïtusual guilt over great
expanses of time, i.e., over more than just one lifetime.
If porn were not infused with negative energy, no one would watch it. If porn were
based on innocent coïtusual lovingness and joy, the ego would find it boring. The way
I define "Lust" is that it is coïtus which has been influenced by or infused with negativity,
e.g., anger/hate, shame/degradation, laziness/carelessness/selfishness, etc. Thus,
it is not really coïtus that porn addicts are craving, it is actually negativity itself that their
ego craves. If all you could find on YouPorn.com were clips of married saints making
innocent love, YouPorn would not be the #50 ranked site in the whole world. The ego
finds love boring, and actually it hates love because love is precisely what dissolves
the ego's delusion that it is sovereign, i.e., separate, plus the source of its own existence.
It's necessary to see that the ego is not who you are, and, from the higher contextual
viewpoint of consciousness/awareness itself, it's necessary to forgive the ego for it is
merely doing what it is supposed to do. The "Seven Deadly Sins" should not be seen
as "evil", they should be seen as animal. Emotions such as jealousy, possessiveness,
and hatred aren't really "evil", they are decidedly animal and therefore innately innocent
and easy to forgive on that basis.
I can remember -- quite vividly, in fact -- getting cheated on by a girlfriend when I was
about seventeen-years-old. We had some kind of petty argument, I forget what it was about.
Anyway, soon after, we were at this house party and I caught her cheating on me with some
"dude." I walked in on them during the act, but they didn't see me. I stood there, shocked,
hurt, jaw-dropped, and very upset, and I actually froze and just watched them "going at it"
while my eyes welled up with tears. After a minute or so, I "snapped out of it" and hastily
left the party. (I went home and cried myself to sleep.)
A few days later, I realized that the memory of seeing them both "going at it" not only
made me feel hurt and jealous, but it also made me feel very coïtusually aroused. I noted
that my mind had somehow tied the emotion of jealousy with 'horniness' itself. Frankly,
I found this quite disturbing. In those days, I didn't know that I had this "ego", and I didn't
know the ego has a vested interest in tying negativity & coïtusuality together, and how this
is precisely how the ego "gets off." I thought the ego was who I was, therefore, I thought
there must be something wrong with me. "It's not normal," I thought, "to get
ten-times-more-horny by thinking about painful, hurt-filled, negative memories. Why
am I actually deriving pleasure from this? What's the matter with me? Am I mentally ill?
It's not healthy to 'get off' from thoughts of jealousy."
It was extremely painful, and it led to the creation of loads of Sexual Guilt/Shame. Since
there was no one I felt I could talk to about this "embarrassing stuff," I figured I would have
to do my own research into the inner workings of the human mind, biology, coïtusuality, etc.,
to resolve this and get some answers.
The ego actually wants, and needs, to tie all kinds of negativity to coïtus. It feeds off anger,
jealousy, hatred, guilt, etc., and it actually uses those negative thoughts and emotions to
"spice up" coïtusuality and "get off." And negativity being associated with coïtusuality is
precisely what creates loads and loads of Sexual Guilt, which in turn leads to shyness,
approach anxiety, coïtusual disorders, STD's, etc., and their concordant low self-worth. In
many cases, since this ego pattern is so difficult to face (unless you've had intense
spiritual training with a Zen Master or Enlightened Being, or at least with a psychiatrist
who comprehends that the ego is impersonal), most of this Sexual Guilt is repressed
outside of awareness, i.e., unconscious coïtusual guilt.
Clearly, one of the best things someone can do to elevate their level-of-consciousness,
as well as to enhance their overall social and coïtusual health is to heal their Sexual Guilt.
The simple awareness that the ego is slyly addicted to infusing coïtusuality with negative
energies in order to "spice up" the coïtus and "get off", plus the willingness to forgive this
proclivity and, via self-awareness, to let go of indulging these patterns, great leaps and
bounds can be made in a relatively short period of time. (Awareness of the ego's patterns
is actually what undoes them. Since forgiveness is many times more powerful than
negativity, it has the power to dissolve it.)